From the people who haven't really brought you anything of substance so far...
Welcome to the future location of what promises to be the most freaking great website in the whole freaking world.

In the meanwhile, this page is under construction.

You'll have to admit, we don't aim small, considering that our combined previous web-crafting experience involves a couple of youtube videos and a 1997 effort dedicated to the violent eradication of the Spice Girls. Remember them? My god. If I'd been told at the time that one of them would go from posing for cheap porno pics to becoming a Thatcherite UN Goodwill Ambassador, and another would go on to marry England's most famous soccer player and cultivate an image as being the poster child for vacuous crap, I would have got them the completely the wrong way around. I would have fully believed that the other three would vanish into obscurity, however, so I wasn't completely out to lunch.

Christ, they were terrible though. You know, the only pop star I can think of who was worse than them was Peter bloody Andre. I grew up in Australia in the 80s and 90s and he was a bit of a fixture on our screens for years until one day he just vanished. I thought nothing of it until I moved to London in 2004 and suddenly his ugly mug was freaking everywhere; all the tabloid papers, trashy mags and showbiz segments on the news. No-one could tell me why. Once, on the BBC's Breakfast programme (while I was frantically looking for the remote control or, failing that, something I could throw at the screen) I heard the presenter introduce him as a 'well known personality' in the face of all available evidence and without any discernible irony, at least that I could detect. He's still around; last I saw he and his ex-Mrs were dealing with their breakup in an amicable and private manner in order to ensure their children's psychological development remains unaffected. Thankfully, the British media were living up to their reputation of respecting public figures' private lives and quietly admonishing any of their number who failed to live up to their extraordinarily (and some may justifiably say unfairly) high standards of decency.

Pardon my digression. Our stated intention, which may retroactively turn out to be ironic in nature on the small off-chance - currently assessed to be 67.835% - that this "under construction" page is as far as we ever get, is to compile a website unlike any other. It will be funny, insightful, topical, educational, funny (but in a different way than the first funny), satirical but not in any way offensive. If you get offended, then our policy is that the fault lies with you since we have very clearly stated that we are not, in fact, offensive.

Additionally, we shall shortly be starting production of a weekly podcast entitled Cranial Voices consisting of two blokes on opposite sides of the planet talking rubbish and taking cheap shots at each other, anyone besides Vikings caught wearing Ugg Boots in public and whatever else is annoying us at that particular moment. We will also explore the issues of the day provided they're interesting issues, otherwise we'll just make shit up, like FOX does. You see; satirical and topical.

Right then, enough of this. We hope to have some articles and works of historical significance on the site within a few weeks, once we've written them, so check back.


Nick and Luke